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I felt so much when I was 15 and I feel so much now and I'll never stop feeling probably and my bones will even feel relief when the aching stops.

My bones will even feel the need to take up the mantle in my resting place.

My bones will even feel hallow and cold, but they will feel so much.

I've got about 55 days left of being a teenager, and the number 20 is beginning to scare me so much that it hurts.

The years seem to go by more quickly and that frightens me.

The days seem to grow longer and that frightens me.

55 days until I'm no longer a teenager, and I've still never fallen in love. Yes, the number 20 terrifies me. Why couldn't I have fallen in love? My bones are still here, but my veins feel dry and my heart is a desert.

And so far the only person I know who loves the desert is me.

i love pouring out my heart to strangers

myself and i

self vanity and the way i see my eyes in your eyes
self destruction and the way i purposefully step on mines
self loathing and the way i wish i was everyone else but me
self discovery and the way i was here all along
self righteousness and the way i won't admit to being wrong
self esteem and the way i've learned to stand up for my own goodwill

the mark is reality and i'm totally missing it

I rather like being undone, which is why I can't seem to pull myself together. Maybe I'll stumble upon that part of me in the future; for now I'll revel in the nostalgia.

Pinch me, I'm dreaming.

But don't pinch me 'cause I don't want to wake up to the responsibilities and my gpa and the economy.

I'm sitting here laughing because the future's so bright and we've all got shades on.

lingering just behind my eyelids

I don't think men should hate time but I'm saying that in a youthful state while I got this little thing called invincibility pulsing through my veins. I hate time regardless of what I think and I'm saying that because invincibility is as much a construct of my mind as time is. It's a race against the clock, so far I'm winning but I've started tripping over my own limbs.

I swear Christmas was a week ago.

I was born yesterday, graduated an hour ago, lived in California just a second ago, I swear.

I opened my eyes for the first time this very instant.

Time isn't slipping away, just me.

phobias

There's a cute guy in my ward (like really cute), and I want to ask him out except I'm scared. And I think that pretty much sums up who I am because I'll probably never ask him out.

i'm pretty fluent in song lyrics

"What's music without any words?" So much, my friend.

You see, my favorite part about a hymn is the part where it says thoughtfully, joyously, worshipfully. If you could never sing again after the next song you sang, how would it sound? Halfhearted? Please, we'd sing as loud and off-tune as we could - to the point of bloody vocal chords, literally putting our hearts into it.

I'm struggling to put this all into words, but what I want to tell you is that music has been there. Always in the background, always blasting from the radio speakers, always humming from my own lips.

These words don't seem that eloquent to my eyes: this truth is so simple but man is it beautiful.